Long Overdue.
to those of you that check on a daily basis to see if i have updated…i hope this makes you happy today:) wow. i have so much stuff to talk about. its been too long since i have posted. there has been so much going on in my life. its absolutely crazy. i really do need to update more often because i can’t possibly catch everyone up on every single thing thats going on.
well…lets see…where to begin? i guess we can start with how much better my life has been since someone got the hint that i wasn’t interested in friendship with them and has left my life. although we have mutual friends…keeping my distance from them is working out beautifully and its so nice not having them around. whenever i enter a room and they are there i have learned how to act and behave just as if they weren’t in the room and i never saw them. i must admit though, it is kind of obnoxious when they are in my presenece and aren’t even speaking to any of MY friends. i say MY in all caps because they really were my friends first. i love people who look up and admire me and strive to be as fierce as i am but at the same time i love individuals and people who do their own thing and don’t give a shit about what other people think about them. i like to think that i am balanced and overall a good person. i know i have my flaws and things about me that people don’t admire but i like to think that in general people have a good time when i am around and enjoy having me in their presence. my main goal on a daily basis is to put as many smiles on people’s faces as possible. i feel that i am a happy person…always…i am rarely sad or depressed…frustrated and angry sometimes…but that is natural….in general if there was one word to describe me it would be happy. my fourth grade teacher…mrs brisbane…told my parents that once at a parent/teacher conference…”your son is always happy and smiling…he knows how to brighten up a classroom and that is a very special thing about him that i admire”. whenever someone asks for three words to describe myself…happy is always the first word i choose:)
moving on…i am currently phoneless…let me tell you…it sucks balls and not in the good way that i enjoy;) ok matthew…stop it…but seriously! this past week has been awful! well awful in the sense that i have no phone! and att and go fuck themselves! they sent me a new phone and it came yesterday and i got soo excited and i opened the box and there was the box for my new child…the bberray…it seriously is like a child to me…and i opened the box and the phone was not there! how the fuck do you not remember to put the phone back in the box after you assemble and activate it?? dumb bitches! anyway according to the email my mommy sent me…the new phone got sent out last night and should get here today before three! tg!…that means thank god btw…by the way:) i guess my shitshow on friday did have to result in me losing my phone. i did deserve it. friday was such a mess but do you ever have one of those feelings at the end of a long week that all you need to do is get drunk? it was just one of those nights i guess…and because i am such an entertaining drunk…i got to put smiles on people’s faces and make them laugh…even though they were probs laughing at me…fuck that…they were soo laughing with me!
so currently i am planning on hoping to become a brother in the business frat here called alpha kappa psi. im a little nervous though. i really really want to be in it. it is definitely something that i am interested in and i definitely think i will benefit from it a lot and make tons of new friends…even though i have so many friends as it is…just kidding…not really though…i mean i don’t lie…i am kinda pop…just a little…ok a whole lot…jessica…you are laughing right now. but anyways…i obvi have some slight add…i get off topic loads…umm back to the frat so i had my interview on monday and the vp of membership was questioning me and agreeing with my responses and everything and i think he could tell i was serious about joining. i left with a good feeling but last night at 1245 he sent out invites to the smoker and i didnt receive one. classes were so rough this morning when i found out that taylor and rose and tays bf received invites and i didn’t. i hate having the feeling that people don’t like me. i want to be friends with everyone…except the other…gross…kill me…homo that happens to hang out…occasionally…on pt5…don’t care for him at all or ever want to be friends with him…anyways…i emailed the vp and politely asked if he could let me know what was going on. he told me at my interview that i would receive an email regardless and so i politely asked whether or not i was invited and he responded back with an email that just contained an invitation to the smoker tonight but no explanation or reasoning as to why i didn’t receive one last night. i am hoping it was just a mistake…an overlook or something and not a pitty invite that will let me go tonight but not get into the frat after tonights smoker. i seriously will be very upset. i want to be a member so badly!
ok now onto what you all have been curious about…the boy…ok things with the boy are getting better. he randomly IMed me out of the blue:) it was nice. i had lost my phone so i was sly and told him that “if you tried bbming…blackberry messaging for all you non bberray users…although im going to guess you haven’t bbmed since you havent spoken to me for like 5 days…but im not ignoring you…i lost my phone”. he didn’t really respond to it though. he just replied with a “that sucks” but it was fine. we continued to talk and he told me that he really did have a good time on friday but he isn’t looking for a relationship at the moment…he just got out of a two year relationship. i can understand that. i told him i wasn’t looking for anything in specific but it would be nice if we went out again and he told me he would really like to go out again but he just wanted me to know that it doesn’t mean that we are going to be boyfriends…that doesn’t mean we cant casually date and it turns into something more in the future though…we spoke online last night for a little bit…like 2 hours or so…and it was just great. i really like talking to him and i could see us becoming fabulous friends…if not more…im just taking it slow. im not a skank like some gays that i know…one in particular…but i believe i going slow and getting to know someone before you engage in anything…i mean i have had my random hookups on occasion because sometimes you just need sex but i can proudly say i haven’t had sex since july/august and i have come to school looking for something more than a one night stand. i have been doing a very good job…better than some skanky people that i know. so i am happy with myself. i think me and the boy will probably go out valentine’s weekend. not necessarily on valentine’s day…probs not…that’d be awk but def that friday maybe…although it is friday the 13th so that might be a bad idea…we’ll see but of course i’ll keep you updated!
ok readers…i think i have caught you up on a lot of stuff. i hope you take time to read it. i have spent the past half hour working on my post. i am going to try my hardest to post more often! once a week is not enough! i know! i am just such a buys person! love you all!
3 years ago • Notes